Las Nochebuenas
by Walis
Summary: Chad never would have guessed it could snow in Hueco Mundo. Squint and that snowman looks vaguely like GrimmHime. Holiday one-shot.


_I don't know where the hell this came from. Seriously. Take the fluff and leave, please._

 _I wrote a freaking_ holiday _fic. Even the_ title _is a pun_ _**someone stop me**. Takes place during Thousand Year Blood War, after mystery-Grimmjow saved the day but before anyone took the field trip to follow Ichigo to Soul Society. So basically the best part that was entirely glossed over, thanks KT._

 _Disclaimer: Bleach and all related characters and places are the creative property of Kubo Tite. I'm sorry for this aberration. Merry belated Christmas, you filthy animals._

* * *

 ** _Las Nochebuenas_**

Chad never once imagined it could snow in the dead desert wasteland that was Hueco Mundo.

He observed as the silent flakes floated soundlessly onto the sandy dunes. The temperature had been dropping dramatically the past few nights, but he had never suspected this sort of weather phenomenon was even remotely possible. To be fair, he had never even seen a desert with his own two eyes before his first trip to this purgatory, so perhaps he was merely inexperienced.

The flurry was picking up rapidly, and the flakes were starting to come down in droves, the burgeoning whiteout not much different from the sandstorm they'd experienced only a few days ago. He leaned against the column to his right as he watched the bright sickle moon disappear completely.

It was _spectacular_.

He hugged his cloak more tightly across his broad shoulders, glad for the hood that covered his ears. Little by little, he was starting to understand Orihime's impassioned defense of this world and its wonders. He was skeptical at first, when she talked about the velvety black sky and sparkling diamonds for stars. The endless sandy dunes were just that, but when she described their shifting ivory grains like waves cresting on an endless silent ocean her imagery brought them to life.

The words she had for her former captors were even more surprising. She had seen with her own two eyes what the little Arrancar Nel Tu was capable of, the tiny form she had taken belying the immense and cruel power within. Orihime, though, treated the Hollow as she would a human child. She played with Nel, joked with and coddled the little girl and was in response treated with near-adoration.

Nel was always an exception, though, Chad reminded himself as he eyed the other beast in their midst.

Grimmjow was leaning against another column a distance away, hands stuffed into his pockets. His eyes scanned the fresh snowfall with a decidedly predatory gaze, as if an enemy could be hiding right there in the flurries. Chad had a whimsical thought that compared the former Espada's eyes to the icy desertscape, but he retracted it before it was fully formed.

His look was far too fiery to be that cold.

Chad didn't know what much to think of Grimmjow. He wasn't there for the last time, when he and Ichigo rained judgement day on a desert of innocent pillars, or for the time before that when the Espada impaled Rukia through her center with nothing more than his hand. He did not know about the time Orihime had repaired his amputated arm and restored his position as the Sexta among Aizen's generals, or about when Grimmjow saved her from the petty and violent machinations of Loly and Menoly.

What he could tell, though, was that the blue-haired Arrancar shared history with Orihime and that it was complicated. He retreated into his memories.

When they were rescued from the Quincy Quilge Opie and his Vollständig, he and Urahara hadn't the slightest idea who this new player was. Add the blade in the shopkeeper's face as an unveiled threat, and they had been certain it was out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Then, Orihime entered the fray.

Her fairies shot out without a word to wrap around Chad's injuries. Their warm glow was welcomed; the teen was starting to wonder what he was going to do about all this blood loss.

What surprised him more, though, was the reaction the Arrancar had to it.

Lowering his sword, Grimmjow turned from Urahara as if forgetting he was there at all. His focus narrowed on Orihime; she might as well have been the only one present.

She stared back.

The girl was nervous, Chad could tell. Her head was tilted slightly toward the sand beneath her tennis shoes, arms wrapped protectively around the still stunned Nel. She did her best to smother the wince on her face, a reaction to the pain of her many bloody injuries. Despite her apparent contriteness, however, she steadfastly returned Grimmjow's wary gaze with one of her own.

It made _Chad_ nervous. All the time he'd spent together with Orihime meant that he had a better understanding of her inner workings than many of their mutual friends. He knew the extent of her courage and how deeply her loyalties to her friends ran. She had a surprisingly complex understanding of right and wrong, and would certainly be the first among his friends to make an ally of an enemy. He recalled how she rode piggyback on Captain Zaraki Kenpachi once-upon-a-time and almost snorted.

Blood trickled from her temple where a stray attack from the Quincy made it past Chad's human shield earlier. He watched as Grimmjow's attention shifted to it with a critical, narrow-eyed gaze.

"Fix your face," the Arrancar said simply to the girl. Chad's brows shot up to his hairline.

If Orihime was surprised by the command, she certainly hid it well. Instead, he watched as some of the tension inexplicably melted off her shoulders.

"I'm hurt worse in other places, you know," she said, the almost-wry edge to her voice unfamiliar. Chad did not actually see Grimmjow's expression change at all, but it seemed like the unspoken conversation between them shared a great deal.

 _Boy_ was there history there, he thought nervously. He felt as her fairies continued to mend his wounds shut, moving faster than he had ever known them to as if they were nervous that Grimmjow would stop them before the job was done. He remembered hoping that wouldn't happen.

Chad was shocked from his recollection and thrust back into the present at the sound of Orihime's delighted voice.

"Uwah! Nel, come see!"

Crashing back to the here-and-now, Chad's attention returned to the shocking winter wonderland before him and the starstruck girl in question.

Her wide eyes took in the snowy ground the same way they often took in freshly fried doughnuts. They sparkled with wonder and want and a twinge of mischief, and he admired the ease with which she could be entertained. She sidled up right past Grimmjow, handling her proximity to him as she might any friend. She even glanced up and _grinned_ at him, as if she expected him to reciprocate her reaction.

Most surprising of all was that the Arrancar allowed it.

Grimmjow even went so far as to humor her with an acknowledging glance, his quirked eyebrow the only hint of his interest in the matter. Orihime accepted the communication as easily as if he'd just had an entire conversation with her and stepped forward into the falling fluff.

"Uwah!" Nel mimed from behind, rushing to catch up on her short legs. "It'th thnowing!" she exclaimed gleefully as she ran out to join Orihime, her lisp somehow incorporating itself into her giggles. Chad allowed a tiny smile; monster or not, the kid was _adorable_.

Orihime was already ankle deep in snow and loving it, picking up handfuls of the icy fluff and tossing it in the air. Nel imitated her with unrestrained glee, heedless of the cold. She twirled once on her heel before purposefully overbalancing and landing on her back. She immediately began waving her arms and legs, shifting the snow pile until the imprint of a cherub became obvious beneath her.

Not one to be bested at snow angels, Orihime laughed and promptly flopped onto her own back to do the same.

When she did, Nel again shot to her feet.

With deceptive speed, the little girl gathered another handful of snow, packing it some before lobbing it into Orihime's upturned face.

"Gotchuu!" Nel squealed before spinning away, gathering ammunition as she began her tactical evasion.

Sputtering gracelessly, Orihime stumbled back to her feet, brushing snow from her now ruddy cheeks. Once she could finally see straight again, she planted her feet firmly into the ground and pointed her finger at the retreating Arrancar child in challenge.

"This means war!" she cried dramatically before bending over to start molding a mound of her own snowballs.

Chad's face split with a half-smile as he watched the battle escalate, half tempted to join. Before he could make a move one way or the other, though, he heard a snort.

Grimmjow sighed deeply, rolling his eyes dramatically before pushing off the column and stepping out into the snowfall, giving the two foolish girls and their childish display a wide berth. His intended path took him well away from their shenanigans and to some quiet solitude. Chad watched the surly man trudge away through the thick layer of fresh snowfall, his black boots plowing a path.

Chad barely had time to flinch when he saw the ball of snow come sailing in from his peripherals.

The white mess exploded on the back of the departing blue head, splattering soggy flakes in every which direction.

The silence that reigned in that moment was smothering. Chad's blood drained from his face, and he braced himself for something truly terrible to happen. What could he do, he wondered with panic, remembering the way the Arrancar had _split their enemy in two_ and wishing Urahara was nearby and not fiddling with his inventions. The human boy knew he would not stand a snowball's chance in… _well_.

No one breathed as they waited in fear for the volatile former Espada's reaction. Chad's eyes flickered toward Orihime and Nel, taking note of the abject terror on each of their faces as leftover snow fell from their fingertips, forgotten. When he turned toward Grimmjow again, he braced himself for intervention. The blue-haired Arrancar had yet to turn around. Snow fell in wet globs from his spiky hair, soaked through and flattened to his skull in certain unlucky places.

Chad's fingers twitched in terrified anticipation when Grimmjow's head slowly rose, his cold and unamused gaze pinning the two frightened girls with the weight of his wrath.

Their spines both stiffened simultaneously, eyes wide and lips thin. Their horror was identical despite their vastly different appearances, one a little girl up to her knees in snow and the other a young woman swaddled in a massive tan cloak.

Then, Nel's finger shot up to point accusingly at Orihime, her frightened expression never once leaving Grimmjow's frightening visage.

Orihime _eeped!_ In betrayal, her wide gray eyes darting to the traitorous little girl before shooting back to the victim of her stray icy projectile. Chad could see the sweat beading on her forehead despite the cold.

Grimmjow was going to _kill_ her, and there was not anything any one of them could do to stop it.

The former Espada's eyes narrowed dangerously on the young woman, pinning his prey. There was a pregnant pause as neither side budged an inch, afraid that any motion would trigger inevitable consequences.

When he sprang from his spot and toward the girls, they shrieked, bolting in opposite directions and sending plumes of snow everywhere.

He moved so swiftly that Chad could only manage one step in their direction before the Arrancar was upon them. His teeth clenched in frustration at the futility of his efforts.

Then he stumbled to a stop as he took in what was happening.

Grimmjow reached out for Nel first, bending low and catching her in one large hand by the hood of her tiny olive cloak. He hoisted her into the air, her little feet pumping furiously beneath her. Her protests were a garbled, unintelligible mess, the tone caught somewhere between fear and affront.

Hauling her to eye level, the former Sexta scowled into the former Tercera's blubbering face, proving himself immune to her tears. His upper lip lifted at one corner to sneer menacingly at her, his white teeth glimmering and cold. Then, he turned to face one of the many rapidly growing snow drifts and planted the little girl face-first into the freezing wet mess.

Chad could only watch on incredulously as Nel's tiny feet flailed in the air, her protesting cries nearly muted by the insulating trap. Grimmjow stayed there for a moment as if admiring his revenge, before suddenly remembering that his actual offender was getting away.

He turned and swiftly honed in on his real prey, eyes narrowing on her retreating auburn locks.

Chad did not bother trying to intervene this time, fascinated by the predatory – and _comical_ – display before him. Snow exploded under Grimmjow's feet as he took off in pursuit of Orihime, the feral grin on his face familiar on a different field of battle. The human woman did not stand a chance, her squeal of fright her only defense against the rapidly approaching reiatsu she could feel. Chad watched as Grimmjow bent low to scoop a massive handful of snow as he sprinted over toward the girl, his evil intent unclear.

Once the Arrancar was upon her, Orihime cried out in protest as she felt a strong arm snake around her middle, the momentum sweeping her off her feet and crushing her to a hard chest. She curled her hands into fists and pushed against Grimmjow, futilely trying to put some space between them as she, too, kicked her feet wildly once they were lifted off the ground.

When she opened her eyes, she found herself looking directly up into Grimmjow's stony gaze, inches from her own as he pressed her chest into his with an arm wrapped tightly around her middle. Her face ignited with a fiery blush at his proximity, her kicking growing more frantic in her embarrassment.

When he grinned widely with boyish mischief, she thought her head would combust, starting at her cheeks.

When he poured his handful of icy snow down the back of her cloak, she screamed.

Chad's hand rose up slowly to cover the growing grin on his face, not too eager to help the girls when the retribution was so appropriate. Grimmjow had yet to let go of Orihime, meaning that the snow was collecting around her middle, soaking through her layers and probably freezing the poor girl silly. Her uncontrollable writhing did nothing to loosen the Arrancar's grip, and instead seemed to entertain him even more.

"Stop! No, ahh! Grimmjow, let go… Aahh! Let me gooo!" she squealed, her pitiful words of protest underlined by the blue-haired man's baritone chuckle.

She was going nowhere fast.

Chad wondered how long Grimmjow would torture her like this, taking note of how closely – and how familiarly – the Hollow handled the girl. Perhaps he would have to warn Ichigo of a potential rival suitor…

Well, if Ichigo ever figured out he was supposed to be a suitor in the first place. Chad could not understand how oblivious most of his friends could be, sometimes.

He watched as Grimmjow proceeded to manhandle Orihime, hauling the squealing girl over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and trudging back to where Nel was struggling to remove herself from the snow. When the little girl realized the former Sexta was on his way back, she tried too late to escape again and was caught by the hem of her soggy dress. He dragged her backwards and face-first through the snow before picking her up by her left ankle. Grimmjow fit the description of the proverbial caveman to a letter.

With both girls crying and struggling in his arms, he stomped over to a new snow drift with an overly pleased smirk on his face.

"Sado-kun!" Orihime appealed, trying a new avenue. Nel just wailed at her impending punishment. Grimmjow raised an eyebrow and shot a look over his shoulder at the observing teenage boy, daring him to intervene. Chad simply crossed his thick arms across his chest and quirked a smile, perfectly content to allow Grimmjow's revenge to proceed unimpeded.

The grin the Arrancar shot at the boy was so evil, he almost changed his mind. He watched on with mixed feelings as Nel was hauled clear over his head and back into the second snow drift, her wail following her arc through the air.

"Waaaaahhhhh-!" The cry was cut off by the splat of her impact.

Then it was Orihime's turn.

"No, no Grimmjow, I'm sorry, it was an ac-CIDENT AHH!"

The former Espada ignored the girl's pleas as he used both hands to lift her from his shoulder by the waist, meeting her eyes with malicious intent and an evil grin before sending her face-first into the snowdrift beside Nel's landing spot. Then, he planted his boot squarely on Orihime's rear end, pushing her further into the trap while she struggled mightily.

Without preamble, he turned swiftly and walked away, shooting Chad a middle finger before rounding a corner and vanishing in the still falling snow.

Later that evening, as the two humans and the Arrancar child sat near the fire prepared by Urahara and tried to warm up, Chad was still thinking about the earlier encounter.

Grimmjow had yet to return, but there was no doubt in his mind that he would. He had a mission, after all, to help end the threat to his world by aiding the Shinigami against the Quincy enemies.

But Chad suspected that wasn't all that bound the Hollow to their ragtag group, he thought as he eyed Orihime from beneath his messy bangs. As he sipped at his steaming cup of tea, he wondered at how powerful his friend truly was, and how little of it had to do with her _actual_ powers, although those were incredible in their own right.

Chad was not meddlesome, nor was he scheming. He abhorred conflict, and he was firmly resolved to use his powers for good and the benefit of the weak. He loved Orihime as he loved Ichigo and his other friends, but sometimes he wondered if they truly understood what was best for them.

Orihime truly had an appreciation for this world that he had yet to see in anyone else, and that made him wonder if she was perhaps meant for more than simply being Ichigo's first aid kit.

He turned his head at the sound of Grimmjow's entrance, the stomping of his boots leaving a trail of rapidly melting snow behind on the old stones. The Arrancar carelessly approached the fire, taking a spot next to Urahara and removing his heavy cloak to dry next to the others.

When he spared the two girls a glance, he barked out a laugh.

Both Nel and Orihime were sticking their tongues out at their assailant, their noses scrunched in affront at his earlier offense.

Urahara did not spare the exchange a second thought. He barely paused in his narrative of his day's work before moving on to his explanation of tomorrow's experimentations.

Chad, for his part, smiled into his teacup. He was never much a fan of snow, having spent most of his winters with his Abuelo overseas, but he suddenly had a new appreciation for its uses in… diplomacy. It seemed the white stuff could bring the kid out in anyone, he thought as he eyed the three fools glaring at each other with varying degrees of seriousness over the fire.

Yes. _Diplomacy._

* * *

 _A/N: I guess I was done with Chad being a prop and Orihime being a first aid kit. I love those two too much for them to be relegated to frame-filler. Hope everyone has a marvelous holiday season, whatever you happen to celebrate._


End file.
